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Almost exactly a year ago, I wrote “Say What?! Sports Commentating Goes Rogue” for BDB Six Packs on Ice. Ever since, I’ve been thinking about how I could make this a theme to return to ever so often. Now after a year (which flew by!), I’d love to bring back this humorous side of hockey.

In Twitter searching to see if I’ve missed any good uses of #NHLPorn in the last year, I found the following. Boston Globe writer Kevin Paul Dupont tweeted:

#NHLporn. Can’t define it, know it when you see it.

— Kevin Paul Dupont (@GlobeKPD) November 11, 2013

I thought I’d found a similar-minded hockey fan… but I must disagree with Dupont’s use of #NHLPorn after discovering this:

Would change quickly if media referred to fighting in NHL as #NHLporn in written and broadcast accounts. “Smith, Jones engaged in #NHLporn.”

— Kevin Paul Dupont (@GlobeKPD) November 2, 2013

The way I look at the hashtag, and the idea, goes hand-in-hand with #OutOfContext.

As I said in my first article on the subject:

“Perhaps I have a mind that truly resides in the gutter, but I’d venture to say that most sports fans do. Tell me you haven’t listened to the things Pierre McGuire says “Inside the Glass” and not chuckled at all the innuendos. Basically the rules for a good innuendo are as such – Can you add “That’s what she said” to the end of the quote? Then you my friend have found yourself some #NHLPorn.”

Many NHL broadcasters — as well as other pro sports announcers — say things that make my brain giggle.

Here are a few more that I’ve come across this past year:

  • “How does Bergeron have such a heavy stick?” — Jack Edwards, Bruins vs. Tampa November 2013

Inappropriate and I don’t care (that’s the point of this article!)…

But back to more serious things.

Hehehe! RT @ryan_nellis: “As soon as he blew it, he knew it was a little premature.” – From LA/PHX game last night. #NHL #NHLporn

— Just Plain T (@JustPlainT) January 27, 2013


  • “Vancouver is coming hard.” — Bob Beers, Bruins January 2014
  • “That’s what happens when you Get your stick in there where it doesn’t belong- nothing good ever happens” — Tyson Nash, Phoenix Coyotes vs. Colorado Avalanche November 2013
  • “He squeezes off the wrist shot…” — Nashville Predators, October 2013
  • “Jamming it up the middle even when it’s not available.” — Jack Edwards, December 2013

These are only a few examples of the color comments that I’ve found, well, colorful. Like when you read your fortune from a cookie, join me in a laugh by adding “… in bed” to a few of your favorite sportscaster’s quotes, and listening to a game becomes twice as satisfying.


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